Pirates of the Caribbean 8: The Vortex Returns
by Astarte-Darkstar
Summary: Yes those witty girls Carline and Sarabeth have returned now they are in the Caribbean with Jack, Will and Elizabeth ready to guide them through, and they are ready to cause as much trouble as posible.
1. Prologue

**Disclaimer: No I dont own Pirates, however Carline and Sarabeth are so mine!**

**This is a follow up to my other story, "****Pirates of the Caribbean 7 and a Half: The Vortex****," please go read it if you do this will be so much easyer to follow. **

* * *

"Right, listen up you lot," Jack shouted to the crew of the Black Pearl. "These two lasses are Carline and Sarabeth, if you cant tell the difference too bad neither can I, and we are going to teach them how to be pirates." 

The crew looked around in confusion and finally someone asked the blatantly obvious question. "Why?"

Jack thought for a second, "Mostly passing fancy, but also a horrible curiosity. Any other questions?"

The crew was silent.

"Right then get back to work," Jack told the group.

Carline turned to Sarabeth, "You mean we're actually going through with this?"

"Why not," the other girl responded, "It's not like we have anything better to do."

Carline shrugged, "True, but shouldn't we call someone?"

"Probably."

Will looked at Jack, "Are you sure this is a good idea?"

"Course I am, why shouldn't it be?" Jack asked.

Will began to count off on his fingers as he spoke, "Because they aren't from this time, because they aren't from this dimension, because they are trouble, because one of them is bound to get lost, because they have no idea what they're in for, and mostly because they are completely insane."

"But apart from that what's the real downside here mate?"

Elizabeth sighed quietly to herself, "I just hope this is all over soon."

* * *

**AN: Yes I've started it again, my slow spiral into insanity. Care to join me? Yes i know it's short, no i dont care, yes they will be getting longer. Please review.**


	2. How To Be A Pirate

**Disclaimer: I dont own Pirates.**

* * *

Jack looked at Carline and Sarabeth for a moment then turned to Will, "Clothes."

"What's wrong with our clothes," Carline demanded.

Jack glared at the girl and motioned for her to be quiet, "Weapons."

"We get weapons," Sarabeth asked hopefully.

Elizabeth frowned, "I'm not sure that's a good idea."

Jack shushed Elizabeth and Sarabeth then continued appraising the girls, "and attitude."

"Oh we have that," Carline told Jack, "in fact we probably have too much of that."

"Not of the pirate-y variation," Jack told her, "and that's the kind you'll be getting, once Elizabeth and Will have finished with you, understand?"

Elizabeth looked up, "What are we doing with them?"

Jack sighed, "You will dress them like pirates, Will is going to teach them how to fight like pirates, and I will teach them to act like pirates. How is this such a hard concept? Will, follow." Jack left the cabin with Will behind him.

Elizabeth turned toward the girls, "Listen I have no idea what Jack means when he says 'pirate-y' or even if he has any extra clothes that would fit you."

"We understand," Carline said, "Do you know what that means Sarabeth?"

"Of course I do," Sarabeth smiled, "snooping in Jack's room!" She immediately began to tear the cabin apart looking for pirate-y clothes.

Carline also began looking but her search was much more orderly. "Oh," Carline began, "if you happen to find his secret diary…"

Elizabeth paled at the thought of either of the girls finding anything like that.

Sarabeth turned to her friend aghast, "I can not believe you think so little of me."

Elizabeth breathed a silent thank you, not sure if Jack even had such an item.

"Of course I'll let you read it," Sarabeth continued, "I'm not some kind of crappy second rate friend! I'm your best friend."

"I'm sorry I doubted you," Carline said as she opened a trunk. "Darn it."

"What's wrong," Elizabeth asked in concern

"I found the clothes," Carline sighed unhappily.

"Bummer," Sarabeth sighed kneeling by her friend to sift through the chest.

"Oh thank god," Elizabeth whispered.

"What was that," Carline asked.

Elizabeth smiled, "I didn't say anything."

Carline returned to the trunk and pulled out two very large white shirts, "So are these pirate-y?"

Elizabeth looked at the shirts and smiled, "absolutely."

"And these?" Sarabeth asked holding up two loose vests one blue and one yellow.

"Perfect," Elizabeth said a little shocked that the girls were picking the clothes that were exactly what she had hoped for.

"Oh these look pirate-y," Carline exclaimed holding up a pair of brown pants and a black set just like it.

"I can beat that," Sarabeth argued holding up two pairs of brown and black boots.

Elizabeth was amazed, "Girls these outfits are flawless."

Carline grinned, "We know."

"And now we have to get rid of them before anyone else knows they exist." Sarabeth then scooped up the clothes and looked for someplace to dump them where they could never be found.

Elizabeth jumped to her feet trying to reason with the girl, "Well why not just try them on."

"Duh," Carline observed, "Because these clothes look horrible."

"Oh please," Elizabeth begged, "I think you'll look fantastic."

"Fine," Sarabeth said, "We'll try on the bloody clothes."

Carline took one of the shirts, the yellow vest and brown pants and boots, and Sarabeth claimed the rest. When they finally had everything on they indeed looked fantastic.

"I want my clothes back," Carline complained, "These feel funny."

Sarabeth sniffed, "I want my comfy jeans," she was on the verge of tears.

At this moment Jack banged on the door, "Everything alright in there?"

Carline threw open the doors and glared at Jack, "We aren't going to wear this stuff."

"You're gonna to wear it because I say you're gonna wear it," Jack told the girls.

"What if we rebel," Sarabeth asked grabbing her jeans and tee shirt ready to make a break for it.

"Why would you rebel," Will asked trying to keep everyone calm. "I think you girls look rather pretty."

"You would," Carline snapped then paused "oh wait was that a real compliment?"

Will nodded unsure of what to say.

"Well thanks a ton," Carline gushed, "You hear that Sarabeth, Will gave us a compliment."

Sarabeth didn't care she and Jack were in the middle of trying to pull the bundle of clothes into their possession. "You can't make me wear this stuff," Sarabeth told him.

Jack tugged at the clothes, "You're a pirate now, you have to dress like one," he growled.

Sarabeth yanked the bundle back, "I'm not going to be a pirate forever, stupid."

"I don't care," Jack argued, "right now you are a pirate and therefore pirate-y clothes are a requirement."

Sarabeth was about to answer when the bundle they had been fighting over ripped in half and both of them fell to the ground.

Carline walked over, slightly dazed, and began too look through the scraps. Sarabeth crawled over and joined her, a look of shock evident on her face. Elizabeth and Will both put comforting hands on their shoulders. "I guess now we don't have a choice," Carline mumbled.

Jack stood and went to where the girls were sitting, "I have something for you two."

"Is it my comfy jeans back," Sarabeth demanded.

Jack rolled his eyes, "No, much more better," he told them and dashed out of the cabin returning quickly with two swords.

"Those aren't new jeans," Carline pointed out.

"Ahh but I didn't say they were jeans," Jack told the girl handing her one of the blades, "I said they were better than jeans."

Sarabeth glared, "There is nothing in this world better than an old pair of jeans."

"Except a bar of dark chocolate," Carline observed holding to her principles.

Jack smiled offering Sarabeth the sword, "Not even a lesson in good old fashioned sword play?"

The girl took the cutlass, "This sword fighting stuff had better be more fun than several trips to fun land."

Jack frowned then turned and hissed, "Will, how fun can you make this?"

"I don't know," Will answered in a whisper.

Jack grinned widely at the girls, "That fun and more!"

Carline and Sarabeth exchanged doubtful expressions. "Well, alright," they sighed in unison.

**One hour later…**

"… Do you girls think you can remember all of that?" Will asked as he finished explaining the delicate art of swordplay.

"I think I've got it," Carline said nodding and stifling a yawn, "How about you Sarabeth."

Sarabeth woke up with a start and mumbled something about Pepsi and a hammer before looking up to see Will glaring at her. "Auggh, what's wrong now!" Sarabeth demanded.

"You fell asleep while I was explaining how to fight," Will scolded.

Carline stretched and grinned, "Don't worry she does it all the time in class."

"Besides," Sarabeth pointed out, "It's a compliment, it means you have a soothing voice."

Will's frown deepened, "That's not going to help when you get attacked."

Jack looked up from his seat, "Perhaps a demonstration is in order, there's only so much you can teach by explaining."

"An excellent idea," Will said then smirked, "Sarabeth would you be so kind as to stand ready and we'll see what you've learned?"

Sarabeth stood and drew the cutlass Jack had given her and nodded at Will to show she was ready. Will attacked and the girl blocked it easily, he tried again and again she stopped his blade.

Jack leaned over to Carline and mumbled, "How is she doing that."

"She listens while she sleeps," Carline explained, "Annoys her teachers too no end, she never stays awake during class and never does any outside reading but her grades are always high."

"Good job," Will admitted grudgingly. He turned to Carline and gestured for her to take Sarabeth's place.

Carline slid her blade out and waited. Will attacked and she deflected the blow with ease.

After several more repetitions of this Jack turned to Sarabeth and demanded, "What's her secret?"

Sarabeth leaned back and smiled, "She's got common sense. She knows that if the pointed end of the sword hits her, it will be bad."

"Is that all?" Jack asked.

"That's enough isn't it?" Sarabeth responded.

Will made a gesture for them to stop and Carline lowered the blade. Will looked at the two girls for a moment before asking, "How?"

"It could be that we're just insanely great," Carline said slowly.

"Or it could be that you're an amazing teacher," Sarabeth supplied.

"But we probably just learned it watching movies," Carline laughed.

Will rolled his eyes unimpressed with the answer. "What was the last thing you wanted to teach them Jack?"

Jack looked at the girls for a moment then smiled, "It was attitude, but they seem to have it in spades."

Carline and Sarabeth grinned, "Told you so," they announced in unison.

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**AN: wow finally another post, I know it's been forever but I've been suffering from a severe lack of wanting to type. Either way enjoy and I'll try to post again soon! **


	3. Dealing With Davy

**Disclaimer: I dont own Pirates... but if i did**

* * *

"Will where are the girls," Elizabeth asked casually.

"They're with Jack," Will replied without bothering to glance up.

"Who's with me," Jack asked as he entered.

"The girls," Will answered slowly.

"Well that's news to me I haven't seen 'em all day."

* * *

Carline was asleep, or was trying to be. Sarabeth was shaking her shoulder, "Carline." 

Carline grumbled and rolled over.

"Carline," Sarabeth hissed sounding nearly hysterical.

The girl sighed and tried to ignore her friend.

"Carline!"

"Oh my God, what!" Carline demanded.

Sarabeth glanced over her shoulder then whispered, "There are fish men outside."

"What?"

"Fish men," Sarabeth repeated, "men who are fish."

"You're insane go back to sleep," Carline told the other girl.

"I'm not crazy there are fish men."

Carline stood up and glared at Sarabeth, "Listen there are no fish men, you had a dream," she stormed across the room. "and if I have to actually prove to you that there are no fish men outside this room I swear to god…" Carline threw open the door and looked outside, she closed the door. "Fish men."

"I'm not crazy," Sarabeth pointed out.

"You might be," Carline said, "I just might be getting to the same point."

There was a loud thunk from outside the cabin after a few seconds the sound was repeated. Both of the teens turned slowly toward the door.

"Maybe it's a rescue party," Sarabeth guessed hopefully.

"Or maybe it's a demon fish man here to suck our souls out through our noses," Carline argued.

The doors were thrown open and in stepped a six foot something lobster squid man. He glared at the two girls for a moment before speaking, "I suppose you'll be wanting an explanation."

"Sounds good," Carline responded calmly, "just please stay away from my nose."

"My name is Davy Jones," He said.

"Like of The Monkees?" Sarabeth asked.

Davy glared at the girl and then continued, "I have kidnapped you."

"Oh that wasn't painfully obvious," Carline said her words laced with sarcasm.

Davy tried to ignore her, "When Jack Sparrow realizes that you are gone he will scour the Caribbean searching for you and then I'll catch him and kill him."

"Very cartoon villain," Sarabeth observed, "However there is one tiny flaw."

"Jack isn't going to come looking for us," Carline pointed out. "He doesn't like us that much, I don't like us that much."

"I'd ditch me if I could," Sarabeth sighed wistfully,

* * *

The crew had searched The Black Pearl from top to bottom and no one had found the girls. Will, Elizabeth, and Jack were discussing their options while gathered around the helm. 

"We have to find them," Elizabeth said, "they could be in a cell somewhere."

"More reason for us to stay as far away from where they are as possible," Jack pointed out.

"They could be in real trouble," Will argued, "you know what those two are like."

Jack smiled, "Yes those two are regular trouble magnets. Still, here's luck too 'em." Jack pulled a bottle of rum from seemingly nowhere and toasted the girls.

"JACK!"

* * *

Davy Jones was trying to ignore the girls who were sitting behind him whispering. 

"Do you think he knows he has a squid for a head?" Carline asked Sarabeth.

"Actually I think it's an octopus," Sarabeth whispered back.

Carline shook her head, "No it has too many tentacles to be an octopus."

Sarabeth shrugged, "A squid only has ten tentacles, duh!"

"An octopus is a mollusk, does he look like a mollusk too you?"

"Squids are mollusks too, so yeah."

"Alright I'm going to settle this," Carline hissed then turned too Davy, "Hey Tentacle Face, yeah I'm talking too you."

Davy turned slowly toward the girls, "Is there something I can do for you?"

"I've got a question for you," Carline announced, "Do you have a garden?"

"What."

"Do you have a garden? It's a simple question."

Davy paused, "No."

"Alright then." Carline then turned back to Sarabeth and whispered, "See told you he's a squid."

"I submit to your superior intellect." Sarabeth whispered sarcasticaly.

Davy rolled his eyes, he didn't want to have to sit through another conversation he could hear every word all though they seemed convinced he couldn't. "Girls, come with me," he lead them too his cabin. "Now I need you to stay in here and make no noise at all."

The teenagers nodded and Davy left the room as soon as the door closed behind him he heard Sarabeth ask loudly, "What did Squidward say?"

"He said be quiet stupid," Carline shot back with just as much volume.

"You be quiet," snapped Sarabeth.

Davy walked away from the door listening to the girls screaming at each other and wondering if this plan was such a good idea.

* * *

"Listen up lads," Jack announced, "after much deliberation and soul searching on my part I have decided that we are going to go looking for the girls." 

"Do we know where they are," Gibbs asked.

"Absolutely no idea."

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**AN: Ok i went and saw #3 the other day... OMG! If you havent seen it yet go now.**

**Why are you still looking at the computer? GO!**


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